Welcome.
On today’s episode, I will be talking about how I waited in vain for someone else to choose me. I will tell how that affected my outlook on life and ultimately, how I came to the realisation that no one picked me didn’t mean something was wrong with me, and that if no one picked me I could choose me and even though life may not be easier it will be more meaningful.
It was years ago after I finished school and had worked for a while, in what was my dream industry which is publishing. I always wrote and wanted to have the opportunity to have what I write published so after school I applied to a publishing house. I got the job, but it wasn’t in the department I wanted. I was sent to advert and circulation, but I knew that I was in the right environment, and one day will be able to transition to editorial which was my dream.
I never really got into editorial, but they did allow me to moonlight there. After a while, the company had problems and folded up. After that, I couldn’t find another job in publishing and even though I worked a few other jobs I had no fulfilment.
When I got married, I started to look for work again and for over two years I was looking and nothing came up. Finally came the opportunity to interview for this ‘awesome’ position, and I kept thinking if I could just get this one, my life will be complete. After one of the most rigorous interviewing process I had ever gone through, I was told that even though I was right for the job they couldn’t employ me because, at the time, I had a four month old baby, and they didn’t think I could cope with the hours.
I was crushed to say the least. At this time, someone gave me the book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren and reading it made me realise that even though the job was a good place to start it had nothing to do with my capabilities or what God put me on earth to do. More importantly, I realised that I could create the life I wanted. The more I thought about the fact that there was something unique I could contribute, the more answers to the question ‘Why can’t I choose me?’ began to formulate in my subconscious. The more the answers formulated, the more I realised that the journey maybe tough if I picked me, but it will be worthwhile eventually.
As I thought of the possibility and what I could achieve if I picked me, I became excited and ultimately I chose me. That was almost fourteen years ago, and the journey has been tough, to say the least, sometimes I felt like a blind man driving on a very dark and lonely road, but, looking back it has been worth it and getting better.
We all have something to give; we are all put here to contribute our quota to make the world a better place, and if we wait for others to give us the opportunity to be that person we may never be!
If you have been waiting and longing for someone else to pick you maybe your first step is to be confident in yourself enough to choose you. As I have come to realise, picking yourself is hard but it does come with its benefits, one of which is when you choose yourself, you give others the permission to choose you, what you do with yourself gives them an opportunity to pick you.
Here are some of the things I have learnt along the way:
1. No one will take you seriously except you first take yourself seriously. Telling others what you can do for them without taking the time to try and do it for you may work for some but it doesn’t always work for everyone. It didn’t work for me.
2. You gain more clarity with each day living life as you. Your eyes open to the value you carry and can bring and this boosts your confidence.
3. One of the things that I heard those early days and still hear today is; ‘I always knew you could do this’. So it seemed everyone was waiting for me to pick me all the while. I bet they are waiting for you too.
4. Start with the easiest thing you can do when you choose yourself. In my case, I chad both teaching and writing abilities. Publishing required capital I didn’t have so I started to teach; however, I always put every single teaching into a script such that when the day came for me to publish I had more than enough content to begin.
5. Be consistent as this helps you get better and more people recognise that you are worth picking.
6. Commit to a growth process and system as you can become easily distracted doing that you may forget to grow.
Now, I no longer have a problem with being picked because I have come to realise that no matter where I want to play if no one picks me, I can pick myself as long as I have the raw material. With a lot of faith and hard work I can make myself valuable enough for others to choose me too.
Till next week when I come your way again, remember that time lost cannot be regained, if no one will pick you, maybe you should choose yourself. In the end what matters is you make it NeverTheLess, and you will.
It is time to choose you!
Bidemi