This week I was hurt and it was not the first time I was hurt in this manner but this time it was very painful.  In the spate of a very short time I had hurt very deeply and I had also just exhaled.  As it all unfolded, my mind kept asking the question, ‘but why?’.  Then I realised, but why not.  What is special about me, that I should not be hurt?  Then I asked myself, what difference does this make in your journey?  In the end I concluded, no difference whatsoever, yes, I hurt in the moment, but I am not the only one hurting.  Even the one who has hurt me is probably acting out of their hurt and if I retaliate, when will it all end?

The more I thought on this, the clearer it became, even this hurt has revealed to me how much I had grown from the last time this happened.  The last time, I first withdrew and refused to speak or talk about it to anyone.  This time, I immediately did a voice note to my Sista because I realised that this was poison and the longer I allow it to percolate in my system, the more drained and angry I am likely to be.  Then, I decided to take time and allow God speak to my heart about it all, and alas, I realised that I had left too many openings that gave access, so I began to ask God which boundaries I was required to tighten.  Then I took a look deep within my heart and I realised that while I was still hurting, I had acted a whole lot differently than I would have before and it hit me.  ‘Bidemi, your heart is a lot more tender than it used to be’, and because that is so, ‘you will heal faster than you did in the past’.  Just as I was enjoying the realisation that I had a more tender heart than before, I heard the rebuke; ‘but you need for your skin to be tough’.  Oh oh oh!

When you hurt how do you respond?  Tender hearts are obviously cool, because they seek to understand rather than judge, tender hearts respond rather than react.  Tender hearts make sure they don’t dwell too much on the negative but do their best to move on to ensure that their energy is expended focusing on who they are, want to be or are becoming.  More importantly, tender hearts forgive.  Now about, the tough skin?  I didn’t like that one bit; because it was a reminder that there is more where the hurt came from.  So I am already  asking, Father help me, don’t let their poison succeed in bringing me down.  Even if I cannot change their minds, give me a heart that will continue to forgive and give me a skin tough enough that I will not be crippled by them.

Your turn… Which do you have tender heart or tough skin?

Embrace Your Super Power!

Bidemi